Mindful Monday: Working Memory (Part 2)
Do you ever feel like your brain’s “waiting room” runs out of chairs?
Last week we talked about how working memory acts as your brain’s waiting room—holding information just long enough for you to use it.
This week, let’s take a closer look at something a lot of people ask: How big is that waiting room supposed to be?
The short answer? It depends. There are so many factors that impact one’s working memory size including age, experience, stress levels, health conditions, sleep… and just plain individual differences.
But here’s the most important thing I want you to hear before we get too far into this today:
Typical isn’t everything.
Your child is not a statistic. They’re a whole person with their own strengths, weaknesses, and ways of learning.
And understanding the average just gives us a goal to aim for, not a measure of worth.
Your kid is amazing just the way they are.
How Big is the “Waiting Room” Typically?
Based on age and brain development, working memory capacity changes and we have some general “averages” go to by:
Toddlers (2–3 years): 2–3 pieces of information
School-age children (5–12 years): 3–5 pieces of information
Adolescents (13–15 years): 5+ pieces of information
Adults: Classically measured as 7 ± 2 (so 5–9 items)
But here’s the twist: modern research suggests adults often manage just 4 “bits” of unfamiliar information at once.
Sounds small? That’s okay—our brains have tricks to work smarter, not harder.
Remember, it’s consuming a ridiculous amount of energy while also working hard to conserve as much energy as possible to keep you alive.
Note: these number decline as we age - so you aren’t just “feeling” foggier. Your brain really is struggling to hold everything it once did. The good news? Even those of us in a more “mature” generation can build our brain function!
Let’s Talk About Chunking
Ever had the need to remember a phone number?
Area code + first three numbers + last four numbers
But wait - that is 10 bits, Tara!
Actually, it’s three “bits” of information - well within in our adult capacity!
That’s because of chunking—combining pieces of information into meaningful groups so you can hold more at once.
It’s a working memory superpower.
Unfortunately, guess what our kids aren’t doing - remembering a bunch of phone numbers. Or even looking them up in a phone book! If you Google the local dumpling house, there is a button right on your phone to call without ever needing to read the phone number.
We can help our kids develop these strategies over time. But they don’t start with them automatically. They no longer develop them automatically, either. They need to learn them, practice them, and build them into their toolkit.
So… Where Does My Child Fall?
One popular working memory study (referenced: Klingberg, 2013) found that in any 8-year-old classroom:
3–4 students might have working memory like a typical 13-year-old.
3–4 might have working memory closer to a 5-year-old.
That’s a huge spread in the same classroom!
And it’s one of the many reasons kids can struggle with multi-step instructions, forget what they’re doing halfway through, or get overwhelmed by “simple” tasks. But because no one is teaching them intentionally about their brain and working memory, we often see these differences significantly impacting self esteem and mental health overall. They feel broken, but don’t know what it going on.
Your child might be ahead, behind, or right in the middle. That’s normal.
The Good News? It’s Trainable.
This isn’t set in stone.
Just like building muscle, practicing working memory skills can help strengthen them.
Want proof?
Dave Farrow holds the Guinness World Record for memorizing 59 decks of cards in one sitting—over 3,000 cards!
He didn’t start there. He trained for it. He used strategies. He practiced.
Working memory can grow.
Kids with Additional Challenges
I also want to say a word about children with language impairments, Developmental Language Disorder (DLD), autism, ADHD, down syndrome and even giftedness.
Working memory is often a huge struggle for these kids.
But research shows that directly targeting working memory can lead to gains in both memory and other important communication and life skills.
It’s not a lost cause. It’s a place to start.
So please don’t discount anything said here because of a diagnosis you or your child has received. That diagnosis isn’t a limitation, it’s information, it is a name for how the brain is functioning. Now you know what to look for that will help that specific brain.
A Personal Note
I know these numbers can feel overwhelming.
It’s tempting to compare our kids to some “ideal” average and worry they’re falling behind.
But I’m here to tell you: don’t get stuck there.
Our job isn’t to measure them against anyone else.
It’s to understand where they’re at - find their point of success.
Support them with the right tools - strategies that will work now and in 20 years
Celebrate every bit of progress - it’s hard work, and everyone deserves a celebratory dance party in the living room.
Is it not working the way you thought?
You’re not failing because you need to slow things down.
You’re succeeding because you see your child.
Let’s Keep Going
Thank you for showing up to learn about this.
You’re investing in your child’s brain, your relationship, and your family’s future.
If you knew your child would be living in France in the future, you would make sure they knew French.
You know your child is growing up in this world, and you are teaching them tools to make their life easier in the future.
Keep up the amazing work!
We’ll keep exploring working memory together in the coming weeks.
Because when you understand how it works?
You can help it work better.
Until next Monday—
Warmly,
Tara Roehl, MS, CCC-SLP 💛
For Paid Subscribers
P.S. Don’t forget!
Tomorrow the next Working Memory Bootcamp lesson drops for paid subscribers.
We’ll dive into new strategies to strengthen this critical skill—plus printables, videos, and encouragement for keeping it fun and low-stress.
Pro tip: Have a deck of cards handy—you’ll see why tomorrow!